


Again

by Breadcrumb



Category: Underworld Office (Visual Novel)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Ghost from the Underworld Office ending, Hugs!!, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breadcrumb/pseuds/Breadcrumb
Summary: “Look, I just want to ask. Why didn't you come?”
Relationships: River & Eugene
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	Again

**Author's Note:**

> It makes me so mad that River doesn't come to help Eugene if the player hasn't got enough friendship points for her. Like, it's even bullshit plot-wise!! I needed at least some kind of closure, so I tried to write them talking it out. (In the case I'm describing Hayden doesn't come either, but I ignored it since he at least hadn't made any promises lol)  
> By the way, I tried to make my writing look Fancy but English isn't my first language, so please tell me if I fucked the grammar up somewhere...

He had always thought death would be scary, and freezing cold, and dangerously dark, like the nightmare that had been torturing him all those years. He expected it to be a painful, cruel thing, as a mere thought of it had been waking a deep, primal fear inside his whole being. Instead, it brought him relief he had not dared to dream about. It was soothing, and it was light, just like he had wanted it to be. Dying, indeed, was easy. There was that feeling of finality, that reassurance he had only hoped to find after the ordeal of his life would have been over. It meant he was free. It also meant he was not alone anymore.

Boss’ voice was calm and kind, and Eugene felt cared for like he had not been before, not once in his lonely life. And it was something he wanted to cling to, not out of fear and lack of safe alternatives, but willingly, out of hope for the better, out of pleasure. After all, Boss was a friend, one of the first friends he had ever had — and the others were there, too, just out of reach for now, but undoubtedly waiting for his return. Maybe it was weird to feel happy after being murdered, but still, he was. It was all finally over, and he had tried his best, and he earned the right to be with them freely, without looking back and constantly feeling shame tear him apart.

Yet, there was a tiniest, fleeting bitter taste to these liberating feelings, something he had to clear out. And he would, after Boss would have brought him back.

***

He expected them to be sad, yes, but seeing them like that was still heartbreaking.

Upon seeing Eugene’s transparent, now colorless form, Hayden, already crying, almost immediately hid his face in Kitty’s shiny fur. The kitten himself let out a stream of soft meows, staring at Eugene with wide dejected eyes, and it was clear, even without a magic hat, that he felt sad for his human’s buddy. Joan stood nearby, leaning heavily on her cane, for once looking not grumpy, angry, or disappointed, but deeply regretful. This was not the time for reproaches. Of course, Eugene knew he would get scolded later; he also knew she was not truly mad at him. There was no his fault in dying, he was sure of it. No one was at fault but Jack. Still, at this thought something scratched at his proverbial heart.

Sean looked big and sad, as he always did, and this time his face was one of understanding, of compassion, of familiarity. They probably could relate to each other even more now, both having left the mortal world because of trying too hard and biting more than they could chew.

Boss stood by Eugene’s side, calm and somber, with his heavy cold hand on the boy’s shoulder. It was hard to tell what he was thinking in this moment. He might be blaming himself, Eugene suddenly thought, remembering Boss’ quiet “I am sorry” from the night before and his “You do not have to forgive me” just a little earlier today, whatever that was about. He was probably feeling responsible for all “members” of their ( _and now mine, too_ ) little office family. It must be hard; Eugene will reassure him, tell him that all that had happened was — felt _right_ , that there was no better way this horrible situation could go, that there was no point in regretting since there was no way to come back anyway. He will do just that. A bit later, not right now.

Right now he was looking at River, who was not looking at him. She was sitting on the floor, her shoulders slumped and her face down. It was only after a few moments that she finally looked up, her bangs still hiding her eyes, and lifted a corner of her mouth as if trying to smile. She failed. Eugene sighed.

“Hey guys,” he said smiling softly.

Sean was the first to come closer. Sean’s hug was a nice place to be, and then it got even better with Hayden joining in and Kitty rubbing himself gently against Eugene’s leg. Boss stepped aside, lifting his hand from Eugene’s shoulder and coming to stand with Joan instead, just like last time. Unlike last time, River did not move from her spot.

“River? What’s wrong?” Sean asked, lifting his his head from where it had been lying warmly on top of Eugene’s. “Don’t you want to come over here?”

“I… um…” she murmured looking away. “No?”

“River,” Boss said curtly, and Eugene gave her a sad frown. Hesitating, she finally got up and came over to pat Eugene softly on the head with a soft laugh.

When the hug, and Joan’s pats on the shoulder, and Boss’ short speech proclaiming him a full-time Underworld office worker, and Kitty’s not-really-wet licks to the face were over, he finally got to talk to her.

***

The moment they were alone, she wilted in an instant, shoulders dropping and hair almost stilling their ever presenting flow.

“Look, I just want to ask. Why didn't you come?” he asked with wavering voice, and then added almost imperceptibly, “Again.”

“I,” River started, and it seemed like she was trying to remember some kind of prepared speech, but then she continued with, “I don't know.”

Eugene's confusion must have shown on his face. Or maybe it was just logical to add some kind of explanation. It probably was. She lowered her head some more.

“I was mad,” she finally said, and then elaborated, “At you. I'm sorry.”

“What?!” Eugene whispered in surprise. “Me? What for?”

River sighed.

“You were... are... argh, it's just. You're such a goodie-two-shoes, you know. You acted so spineless ever since I'd met you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and all that — but you’d avoid making a move all the time, like you were afraid to make a difference...”

“I was,” Eugene confirmed slowly, staring at her wide-eyed.

“And, and,” she raised her voice, “you were afraid of me! It was obvious you never liked me. It's okay, you don't have to, but I, ugh. I felt... hurt?” she looked away, suddenly seeming smaller than she was. “You acted like you were too good for me, all soft and gentle and understanding...”

“You said something similar about Sean...” Eugene remembered. “You'd said...”

“Sometimes I want to punch him,” River nodded grimly. “Yeah, I did. But with you, it was a bit different. I actually thought you... despised me.”

“What?!” Eugene gasped in horror. “I'd never...”

“I know!” River exclaimed, sounding pained, then took a deep breath. “I know. But what was I supposed to think? You'd act all shocked or displeased every time I opened my mouth.”

“I never meant to offend you! I'm sorry,” Eugene said hastily, and River let out a sharp exhale.

“Don't say that! You haven't done anything wrong! It was all my fault. I knew people are sometimes scared of me, and I’m too harsh, and too violent, and everything, but I still was so fucking upset when you looked at me like I was some kind of a monster. Even thought I'm almost there, you know,” she laughed weakly.

“No, River,” Eugene began, but she interrupted him.

“Anyway, I was thinking about all that, and then you called, and I. I was so salty, and I just thought.” She paused. “I don't want to... Don't make me say that, Eugene.”

“River, please, I want to know what happened,” Eugene asked softly, encouraging her to go on, and she gave up after a few moments.

“I thought, 'This kid could use a bit of ass-kicking. Just a little. So he understood acting all sweet is futile when it's just you and some shithead who only talks using their fists. Let this kid see the real life.' And then this psycho actually killed you. With his bare hands.” She put her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking slightly. “I got you killed.”

“River,” Eugene started, then bit his tongue, watching her shaking form for a moment. He touched her elbow lightly, and she gave out a choked cry.

“I'm so sorry, Eugene, I never meant to hurt you, let alone _kill_ you, I just. I fucked up so badly. I'm sorry.”

“River,” Eugene said finally finding his words. “It wasn't you who killed me. It was Jack. You didn't even _have_ to help me.”

“Yes I did!” River groaned, taking her hands off her face to glare at him, and Eugene could see her eyes glistening feverishly from under her bangs.

“That’s what _you_ think. You promised you'd come, yes, but I... never actually thought I deserved that. It's like you said, I'm a spineless loser. No, let me finish! I'd always been alone, you know. And I always knew I had no one to count on. It was me against the world, all by myself, just a pathetic little me. So, when I went to get the children, I wasn't actually thinking about you, or someone else, for that matter, helping me.”

“But you still called!” River argued.

“Of course I did. I was so scared,” Eugene said softly. “I hoped you'd come. But I wasn't expecting you to. And everything turned out okay, so, it's fine.”

“It isn't!” River flared, grabbing him by the shoulders. “It isn't okay you died, and nothing is fine, don't you dare say shit like that!”

She then pulled Eugene in a sudden fierce hug, and he gasped softly.

“You deserve so much better, kiddo. I'm so sorry. I'd give anything to make it right again...” River whispered.

“River, everything I want is for you to be my friend,” Eugene replied sadly, leaning his forehead on her shoulder. “...Would you do that for me?”

River tightened her grip.

“Of course I will, newbie.”

Eugene felt gnawing doubt leave his mind, and anxiety finally let go of his weightless body.

It was a start.


End file.
